I am not a big treat feeder.
Every time I do break down and bring out a bunch of apples to the herd it ends in disaster.
Cutter pounces on Kaylaa, Kaylaa runs after Kerrie, Sunny chases Shana. Each of them fighting for the juiciest, largest piece.

I do give each horse a treat at night. Around 9/9:30pm I put out the night feed and drop a treat on their hay. In Germany we call that a Betthupferl. A Betthupferl is a piece of chocolate you will usually find on your pillow at any decent Geman B&B.

A recent interaction at the Mindful Connections workshops at Blue Star Horse Sanctuary brought the subject “to treat or not to treat” back into my mind.

While I was talking with some of the workshop participants about the dedication it takes to support a horse with a broken or blemished spirit, one participant, Karen, had gotten up to visit with one of the resident horses. The horse she decided to hang out with was Buford, an 18 year old Appaloosa gelding that had come to the Blue Star a few months earlier.

Later, via Facebook, Karen shared the following about her interaction with Buford.  “I attended this session and it was just amazing. During the last 20 minutes or so of the Mindful Connection session I had to get up and move my frozen feet and toes. I was leaning on the stable door Buford was in. Buford usually ignores me unless I have treats. I've tried before to pet, scratch him or give him a kiss and he pulls away.
So today I followed Nicole's suggestions on communication and making a connection with a horse, I just stood there; after about 10 minutes Buford came over to me and sniffed my camera, jacket, head, and gloves, and then nuzzled me. I just stood there gently talking to him and standing still, no touching.

Then I did something else I would have never thought of doing before this session: I asked him if I could give him a kiss. He moved his head closer to me and I gently gave him a kiss, and he stayed there with me. As I said earlier, Buford has never paid me any mind and was only interested if I had treats. Today when I let him lead the way I was rewarded with a small, short connection to him that I'll have as long as I live.”

When I read Karen’s recount of her experience I immediately thought … he liked her for the treats because he only knew her through her treats. When Karen offered him something else, her presence, Buford actually got to know her. 
In short, a treat lasts until it is chewed up, a moment of connection can last a lifetime.

We can only connect if we bring ourselves. That’s true for any relationship.
I agree with Oprah, in the last O Magazine she said that each of us has an essence, a quality at the very core of our being that makes us who we are. It’s what sets us apart from everyone else. She goes on to say that expressing that essence is one of the greatest joys in life.

My sense is …sometimes we are not sure if our essence is enough. Buford, showed that it is not only enough, but it is essential.
When we bring forth that unique part of us others can feel us, can connect to us.
What fallacy to think the horse will like us for the treats we bring. The horse likes the treat, not us.
Yet when we bring our self … the horse can reach out and into us.

By Pamela Rickenbach and Nicole Birkholzer

What if you found yourself walking along a road. A dusty farm road surrounded by large fields of alfalfa that went on and on as far as the eye could see.
What if you begin to make out a form coming towards you. A big dark form on 4 legs. As you get closer you realize you are approaching a very large black horse. As you get closer you begin to see him more clearly. He is big, much bigger than you, with a long black mane and tail and a shiny black coat.

You have never seen a horse like this, this big, this beautiful, this impressive. This magnificent horse is slowly walking towards you, on the same path. You feel excited, scared, uncomfortable and small. What if this horse is dangerous? Are horses dangerous you wonder? You realize you really know very little about them. You know that they are domesticated animals and have lived with humans for thousands of years yet you know very little about them. Do they bite? Do they chase? Do they naturally dislike and distrust humans or are they naturally friendly and curious and kind?

What should you do you wonder. You feel vulnerable. You know you can't out run him if he chases you and you know that he is getting closer and very soon you will meet him. He is getting closer and closer and now you can see his eyes, his big dark eyes looking at you. He is calm and his walk is steady and sure. His ears move, like antennae scanning the surroundings, you see them turn towards you and you see the horse lift his head and you hear him snort...not loud but softly blowing out the dusty air.

He lifts his nose towards you as if he is trying to smell you from a distance and he keeps coming closer. He arrives a few feet from you and stops. His head is lifted and he is smelling, trying to understand your scent. You say in a soft voice, “Good boy, or are you a girl?”...you try to get a look underneath his belly and you see he is indeed a male. A beautiful, big, black male horse. You think to yourself my god he is magnificent.  You feel a tingly thrill as you take in his beauty and power and presence, you almost forget that you know nothing about him...for a moment all you know is that you are in the presence of something so incredibly mysterious and awesome that he really defies description.

You can smell his sweet scent, strong and so uniquely his ... you want to breathe in more of it ... you are more comfortable now and as you relax he moves closer. You reach out your hand and offer it to him to smell....not sure of how to approach him. You want to touch him and move in closer to feel him. He comes closer and starts smelling your clothes, and your hands, and your neck as if his smelling was revealing everything about you to him.

Installment #2 and #3 of my workshop are posted on the Blue Star Equiculture Learning Curve.
Click here for #2, and here for #3 to experience a piece of the workshop yourself.

We started a waiting list for the workshop on February 5th ... because the last spot went this morning. 
If the weather stays decent, we will add another winter date.
So if you're ready, sign up. We want to keep in touch with you about our plans.

Stay tuned!

We had a wonderful Mindful Connections Workshop on Sunday at Blue Star Equiculture.
And how fabulous is this … you can take a peek at the workshop since Pam and David at Blue Star decided to film it. Parts of the workshop are shown at Blue Star’s daily educational program “The Learning Curve”.

If you would like to take a glimpse, follow the link and check it out. Every topic is really interesting and informative. Watch out, you might get hooked on the Learning Curve.

Since the first workshop was filled so quickly, we added a second date ... February 5th. If you are ready to hear and share about the horse's spirit, sign up and join us. I can't wait.

My client had recently agreed to take in another horse to keep her mare company. Her mare had lived with her as a single horse for several months. Though I generally strongly recommend that horses need to live as part of a herd, this particular horse needed focused 1:1 time with her new human to overcome  a few human-related scars.

Over the last several months, much healing had occurred and a wonderful bond has been forged.
My client felt it was time to provide equine companionship to the mare, if and when the right horse and owner came along.
They did … and my client jumped on the opportunity.

Yet, when the new companion horse entered the picture, her mare revealed a lot of hidden scars. Herd dynamics caused this issue to come to the surface. Suddenly her mare became worried about her food. She felt she needed to defend her food, the way she had in prior homes. She was standoffish to the new neighbor, kicked the fence and pinned her ears. Her old fear of being bullied was back. The mare does not feel like socializing with the new horse. So much so she avoids her run-in stall when the other horse hangs out in the neighboring stall. Matter of fact, most every time the new horse tries to connect, my client’s mare backs off and gives the other horse the evil eye … or hoof.