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Writer's pictureNicole Birkholzer

Processing Grief


Hello, we’re back in each other’s lives, if only for a moment while I tell you what happened today.

I just got off the phone with a new client and needed to talk with you about it.

Let me give you a little background.

The woman had reached out to me for a 15-minute consult (explain) because her two cats didn’t get along.

Looking at the photos of the two cats, I immediately sensed that Maisie was the one I needed to focus on first. I sensed she was unhappy about the other cat Holly coming into her space. Holly felt like a foreign object in her life.

When I asked their person if Maisie was the older one, she said most likely. She didn’t know Holly’s age, but Holly was the new one in the household. Maisie had lost her brother a few months earlier, and the woman had hoped that Holly would be good company for her.


The floodgates opened when the woman said that Maisie’s brother had died. A wave of loss and grief washed over me. When it ebbed, I felt a tiny sense of hope. Maisie had not given up that her brother would come back. I explained to her that, unfortunately, he would not come back physically. I felt how my statement crushed Maisie’s heart.


Our 15 minutes were over at this point, and luckily, both the person and I had time to continue and turn this into a full-blown session.


Maisie and I agreed that healing would be needed, so I put the cat chakra chart on my knees, grabbed my pendulum, and went to work.


Maisie was out of balance and asked for Thyme. I read out loud the properties and benefits of thyme, … tonic for nerves and the stomach. I had already mentioned to the woman that Maisie’s belly was upset. The next word that jumped off the page was … depression. Maisie confirmed that is exactly what she felt … de-pressed. She loved her brother so much. She said he took care of me, but I also took good care of him. She showed me how they sometimes slept together, and she would have one of her paws on his neck or head.

Thyme is known to be uplifting and helps to relieve depression. I acknowledged the great choice of herb.

This is a perfect example of how amazingly in-tune animals are with the plant kingdom. Each essence or oil covers various benefits, so there were various plants she could have picked, but for her, Thyme was the pathway to relieve her grief.


Once Maisie returned to balance, we checked in with Holly as well. She exclaimed right away, “My energy is going sideways.”

Instead of one essence or oil, she picked an entire box. Once she was in balance, we realized that the dog needed to get a word in too.

She explained that the disharmony between the animals was also throwing her energetically off her game. When I asked the dog if she was a healer, she emphatically expressed, “Of course I am.”


For the dog to do her best, she needed to be at the highest and best, so I offered her a balance.

That’s when things got interesting … suddenly the dog took charge and directed me to pull out the cat, dog, and human chakra chart, line them up - with the dog in the middle - and do a harmonizing balance for the entire family. At that point, Maisie’s brother came in to provide the words for what seemed like a family ceremony. He said that all beings in the family, especially Maisie had to rise up and see the larger picture. Maisie had an opportunity to step into a new role, not as the sister but as the matriarch that could set the tone for Holly. He continued to say that He was still around. He felt that Maisie had been looking for him physically and missing his spirit which was right there with them all.


He said all beings in the family should do their highest and best. Each needs to be at their highest and best. Therefore for Maisie to clear up the uncertainty, heal the grief, and open her heart compassionately to Holly is of utmost importance.


The dog happily chimed in and explained that the household had been synergetic when the boy cat was still around. She was hoping that all could return to a sense of harmony.

Together the two and four-legged picked an essence called Grief and Loss.

I suggested that the woman order and administer the essence as the animals had directed her. Then put a note on her calendar to check in with them in a week. Basically, to forget about the squabbles and barking and allow the animals to self-medicate by drinking the essence so each can find their equilibrium and the equilibrium of the pack.


I can’t wait to get the report …


We might need another call to fix up some loose ends. Maybe Maisie needs a few balances before her system remembers to ground itself. Maybe the entire family needs another balance. We will stay open and curious about it.

But, the message here is once again how one thing can affect many. I want to quote Martin Luther King Jr.

In Dr. King’s famous Christmas Sermon of 1967, he said:

“It really boils down to this: that all life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied into a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.”

And I say Amen.

Because the loss of her brother affected Maisie, the new cat, the dog, and the person.

When we can take care of the root or cause of the behavior, in this case, grief, we can heal and come back to wellness.

At the end, Maisie acknowledged that our work together helped her see herself with new eyes. She was the grieving sister eating out of frustration and feeling depressed. Our chat reminded her of the huntress, the caretaker, the entertainer, and the comforter she was. The sensation she sent me was her ascending, seeing herself and her world from a higher vantage point. At that moment, I felt hope again. A glimmer of hope leading to a brighter life once again.


Phew. Sigh. Sweet lovers of animals, thank you for listening. May you be showered in puppy kisses, kitty purrs, horsey breath, and birdsongs.

Until we connect next time. Auf Wiedersehen.




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